theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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