You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
