He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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