I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How external is "for external use only"?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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