new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
