she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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