My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
