you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
