White coat. Heels.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
