zippers are such a cool invention
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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