Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
