i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
