Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
