That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
