garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
