I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
