i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
