I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
