It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
