you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
