Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
