i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
