YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
