I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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