Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
