I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
