So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize