I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
