I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
