i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Let's get the cat blown out
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
