I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
