thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
