You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
