Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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