he wants to bone in the snuggie
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
