He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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