Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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