oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
