Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
