Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
