this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
