don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
