we're blogging at a bar
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
