They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The ass gains better be worth it
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