I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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