did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
