Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
