If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
