Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
