Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
