Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
