Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Damn victory sex feels great
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